Posts Tagged ‘love’

triangulation of desire

11/07/2017

he had kind eyes,
a warm and kind sense
of justice
and a charming smile
that could get him out
of any trouble.

that was almost nothing
but just enough
to fine-tune
my appetite.

mermaid

03/07/2017

on nasty days,
I always thought of myself
as some scary
deep-sea creature
full of angry, sharp teeth.

when calmer,
i pictured myself, maybe, as
a rock from the bottom
of the oceans:
hard and mossy,
unlikeable, untouchable,
something
so cold no one
would ever wanna take home.

and no one could change
this image of myself,
no matter how many friends,
or how many hugs
I would get,
how many messages
or love gestures.

no mirror could display
any but hideous things.

I could only see
me
ten-thousand feet
below,
into the cold water.

I was always
alone in my thoughts.

***

and then,
in a rare moment
I surfaced,
up up up, until I was
close to the land.

up there,
you came along:
a flurry little creature,
swimming about.

you circled me once, and then again,
twirling the waters,
dancing
in a flow
full of power.

as you cut
the waters,
the scales on your tail sparkled.
when I touched them,
they were as hard and as colorful
as a thousand gems
under my fingertips.

I caressed you
over and over,
and as you laid your head on my shoulder,
your coal-black hair floated
and shone almost white
under the milky moonlight.

the refraction
under the water
made it all look
like fractals.

so pretty
were your pearly white teeth
when you smiled.

***

and you visited,
many times.
we danced,
and talked until the wee hours,
stopping only when the fishermen came along.
we were
as happy as we could
for that moment.

we played cards
on sunken ships,
and you’d always let me win.

“you clearly wanted the victory,
so I don’t see the point in winning
like this.”

on these moments,
I didn’t see myself
as distorted
anymore;
as you touched me,
as we kissed,
I felt things that I hadn’t in very, very long.

but the surface
was bright
and loud! too loud!
and I wanted silence.

yet the seafloor was too dark,
and too quiet for you,
the water murky,
the ambiance too chilly:
you wanted the moon
and the stars,
and the shells in the sand.

you wanted the world
above,
and try to, one day,
take the land.

***

so, I gave you what I could:
my name and a promise
that I’d answer
every time you called.

and a goodbye,
so you could go.

I gave you the victory
you yearned for:

there was no longer
a point in winning
if you could not have
the light that you needed.

the part of the story no one wants to hear

16/05/2017

is that, in the end,
you’re not really better
than him.

that she indeed could find
someone finer than you.

that you are not the greatest,
not irreplaceable.

not someone
special, one of a kind,
as you thought yourself
to be.

all in all,
you are just a person,
– neither good nor bad –
just one
that wasn’t right
for someone else.

(and that yes, she got over you
and, surely, found
somebody just as good,
if not worthier)

***

however,
the good part
that I personally think you should hear
is
that you’re no one’s second choice,
no one’s leftovers,

and that you do have value,
maybe not for this one person,
nor that other,
but you’ll be a good fit
(someday!)
for somebody new.

senses #1 – smell

11/04/2017

i remember you
distinctively by your smell:
skin
and your earthly sweat,
the tangy cleanness
of generic white soap
on your neck
and clove cigarette smoke
mixed with aftershave
below your mouth.

from the past

04/04/2017

my father was a funny man.

so unlike me:
with no affinity for
Tennessee whiskey,
cured meat,
cigarettes
nor knives.

a soft-spoken,
well-humored little man,
that never got into a fight.

so unlike me:
a gentle man.

i wonder when this will go away

10/03/2017

you don’t know
how it goes
on the other side.
how your smiles
are ropes
that tie tight
around my heart:

when you talk,
the strings tauten
compressing, and clenching
until my breath leaves me.

sweet, delicious
pain
in my chest.

and, when you speak
I am reminded
of past scenes
between you and me
(and the phantoms of the kisses
we traded in a time far, far away).

in a mix of memory and dream
I am once again
pulled in.

these memories are
like a tide
that carry my body
into the water.

how did the kissing feel to you?

to me, it felt wet
and warm
and everywhere:
like drowning in the sea
while it rains.

walking backwards

08/03/2017

good
old times
when my heart
wasn’t hardened
by the foulness
and i wasn’t
afraid to say
i am sorry
or coy
to tell you
that i miss you.

iron

03/12/2016

people say that you have
an alluring charm,
highly effective in enticing.

it’s true:
you do have an outstanding capacity
to fascinate and draw in.

a luring smile.
some enthralling talk
that beguiles.

however, “magnetic charm” is not
an expression that applies:

unlike a magnet
you attract,
but can never
keep.

repelled
and revolted
after a while,
everyone stands apart.

men in love

01/11/2016

Facebook knew we were in love
before we did.

through its algorithms
and machinations,
analysis of posts
and common friends,
it knew
we were into each other
even before the concrete thought
formed in our minds.

so, it suggested we posted pictures
together,
did things together;
crafted and shared a life together,
and plastered it for the whole wide web
and world of our friends and family to see.

it knew we were in love
even before we did
and told pretty much everyone
but us.

age: 28

27/10/2016

it’s in the darkest hour

(under the cover of routine
of four o’clock in the afternoon,
in the middle of my shift
at the office-
that point when I feel
there is nothing before or after,
just me, crunching numbers,
cold coffee
and spreadsheets-
on a Wednesday)

that I, at random, remember:

you, in a black jacket,
poised like a pale bird
under the glow of the streetlight,
declaring
“I come bearing gifts”
and handing me a beer
as I rested my forehead
on your belly
and embraced
your midriff in my arms.

and as fast as it comes
it goes-
the spark of memory.