detoxing

it’s simple:
you hurt me
when you said
you didn’t wanna
hurt me,
when you didn’t
want me
when you said
you wished
to cherish me,
keep me
and never lose me
as a friend,
that this was
aaaaallllll for the best,
to protect me,
as you didn’t
see a future
with me,
a future
in me
as you said
you regarded me
highly,
but when
the sun rose
and the deed
was done,
you turned over,
hid under
the covers
and without a goodbye,
denied me
the safety of a hug,
the prize
of a final kiss,
the tenderness
and cordiality
of a simple thank you,
(a word would suffice.
you always have
all these words
for every damn
conversation,
every situation!
yet, you couldn’t
spare me
a single one.)
so i put my shoes
back on
in the living room,
regretting
the mess
i put myself into
right at the first day of the year
(must have been
some kind of fucking
imbecile record!)
and let myself
out the door,
smoking
through your building’s
corridor
(fuck you! if you can’t
even kiss me
on the mouth,
i’ll smoke where i want,
i don’t care)
and waited for a cab
on the sidewalk,
spent
drunk
disheveled-
and, once again,
used
utterly alone.

Tags: detox, free form, free rhyme, freeform, goodbyes, hurt, love, pain, poem, poetry, writer, writing