musings – a self-portrait

I like to watch people, from really tall buildings, passing by with really busy steps; like the shape of the waves formed by black and white Portuguese pavement, lapping on the shore of asphalt of the streets of downtown; I like fervent, exquisite kisses exchanged by careless lovers in the midday sun, the enticing smell of fresh coffee in the mornings and the appetizing one of beer evaporating from the floor of the bars on really hot summer nights. Crunchy textures on food, as well as salty, sweet and spicy please me, almost as much as finding really cheap and good books that will make mind for a while and put words in my mouth. I rejuvenate in the power of youth, fresh for a revolution. I love the stupor caused by the perfectly lit cigarette after a meal, the bitterness of gin and sweetness of friends’ smiles, the feeling of infatuation felt only while in love, and the enamored boys, fresh and sweet. I like pleasantries towards cashiers and waiters, the indescribable rush of inspiration after looking at pretty pictures that I will never be able to reproduce, and high speeds and the loving, cozy comfort of dark, half-lit rooms. also, I like the word ‘thoroughly’ and its weird, sexual appeal, cheeky graffiti, well-told stories about ancient times, a good, wholehearted laugh, and the need to escape that rises after the words of Kerouac. I am happy when my favorite song is played in crowded, highly organized, colorful supermarkets, the embarrassing unquietness of convenience stores after two o’clock in the morning, swinging, well, in swings, the amazement that is the vocabulary of young children, the loneliness while enjoying a bus trip, the somewhat faint memories of love that I, thankfully, have not been able to erase.

and dreaming.

I have never felt so alive.

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