i’ve seen everything, the world hit the rocks, her life wrecking, sinking like a ship, no life jacket no rescue boat, it wasn’t cold after all, it was warm, January, i had all those thoughts that i could not help but think, every time i wanted to forget i would remember, endless back-firing effort: thinking about it made it whole, thick, it was there consuming me with inhuman efficiency, it burned my sleep my eyes, no tears – guess i was dry after all, as dry as she said i was. i had no help but write and watch the night, watch every little dead thing die more, i was hopping to grow stronger but i was every single one of those dead things, i had no soul anymore, no armor, i had no dark place to hide! hide my shame, hide all my things. i was exposed, way too much, no mystery, she had me guessed from back to forth, head to toe, i was bare. anyway, leaving all clichés behind, i – as always – only had myself, my bad words and those thoughts, dense as lead, heavy, senseless and the solutions to everything, and the resolutions for the future and how they are always equal to problems.


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